Judgment feels like an attack to people who never judge themselves.

We all assess people. What they're good at. What they're not. But when a negative assessment is said out loud, some find it offensive. But a negative assessment isn't necessarily an insult. It's an opinion.

We exist on countless spectrums - skill, ability, achievement. We're bound to rank low on some. Knowing where you stand is useful.

The ideal: desire to hear other's judgments about you. Treat their opinions as data. If someone's assessment differs from yours, get curious. What made them reach that conclusion? You might learn something. And when people learn you want to hear judgments they'll be more comfortable giving you the truth.

So judge yourself first, especially where it hurts. If a judgment stings, it's probably because you're worried it's true. And if you're worried it's true, that's what you should work on.

Judgment feels like an attack to people who never judge themselves.

We all assess people. What they're good at. What they're not. But when a negative assessment is said out loud, some find it offensive. But a negative assessment isn't necessarily an insult. It's an opinion.

We exist on countless spectrums - skill, ability, achievement. We're bound to rank low on some. Knowing where you stand is useful.

The ideal: desire to hear other's judgments about you. Treat their opinions as data. If someone's assessment differs from yours, get curious. What made them reach that conclusion? You might learn something. And when people learn you want to hear judgments they'll be more comfortable giving you the truth.

So judge yourself first, especially where it hurts. If a judgment stings, it's probably because you're worried it's true. And if you're worried it's true, that's what you should work on.